Author Archives: hedgebl0g

Ryan

by hedgebl0g

I went to high school with a kid named Ryan Cole.  He asked me if he could copy my homework through AIM — I still remember his AIM screenname was rynoco.  As much as I wanted to be accepted, something felt ironic about his request to copy an assignment in an ethics class.

So I said no.

The next day, he called me over to his truck.  If there were a Nor*Cal douche starter pack, it would be Ryan Cole — lifted truck, pucca shell necklace, white frame sunglasses, shitty nautical star tattoos probably.  Oh, also, when I got close, he pulled out an Airsoft pistol from his truck and pointed it at me.  I don’t remember if the tip was orange or if it had been painted over, but I remember being stunned and just walking away.

I’m guessing he’s still driving that lifted truck, with those same shitty sunglasses and tattoos, probably doing construction management or whatever it is that 50% of the burnouts from my high school do.  Grow up kid.  Try doing it now.  Let’s see where that gets you.  I’ll make more than you can even count.

Omar

by hedgebl0g

You fucking snake.  Take responsibility for your own actions and stop being a passive receiver of things that happen to you.  Nobody forced you to do anything — so by your logic, if you were robbing a bank and the tellers hand you money, will your legal defense be “well, they didn’t stop me, so how was I supposed to know it wasn’t okay?”  You should know that going after someone you know is in a relationship is a chickenshit move, period.  You fat, balding, underdeveloped-chin having, spineless cunt.  Go to hell.

I’ll remember you.

Five year plan

by hedgebl0g

Five years ago, I was sitting in an IKEA chair in my Durham apartment studying personal jurisdiction.  Five years, two girlfriends, and two jobs later, I am sitting in my NYC studio studying personal jurisdiction.

Three years, ten months ago

by hedgebl0g

I posted the lyrics to two songs.  Here are another two, in no particular order:

***

Within half an hour you
will be gone and I won’t see you anymore
You left my love on the line
And said that you were leaving
And you won’t come home again
And you won’t come home again

And I’ll miss you like you’re dead
But I never got to grieve you
Cause I saw you
In the arms of someone else

So your phantom follows me
Like a child would his mother
Or a lover who never said goodbye
It’s only saying goodbye

And I cry myself to sleep
And you thought I was happy
I was lonely
Had nowhere to go

And I heard that you moved on
Found a brand new family
And changed your married name
And everything has changed

And I’ll miss you like you’re dead
And find a way to grieve you
Cause I need to
Try and start again

And your ghost will have to leave
Like a child would his mother
Or a lover
Who has to say goodbye
So this is goodbye
So this is goodbye
So this is goodbye
Goodbye
So this is goodbye
So this is goodbye
So this is goodbye
So this is goodgoodgood

***

If you must wait,
Wait for them here in my arms as I shake
If you must weep,
Do it right here in my bed as I sleep
If you must mourn, my love
Mourn with the moon and the stars up above
If you must mourn,
Don’t do it alone

If you must leave,
Leave as though fire burns under your feet
If you must speak,
Speak every word as though it were unique
If you must die, sweetheart
Die knowing your life was my life’s best part
And if you must die,
Remember your life

You are
You are
Oh, you are
You are
Oh

If you must fight,
Fight with yourself and your thoughts in the night
If you must work,
Work to leave some part of you on this earth
If you must live, darling one,

Just live
Just live
Just live