Okay, this is definitive proof on why listening to ambient drone music while napping is the worst idea ever.  Also, don’t do drugs, kids.

* * *

All I remember is that I’m at a bar.  It’s dark, but there are hues of amber and orange.  It’s almost like I’m looking at the world through a beer bottle.  Anyway, there’s this giant bar; well lit, white, glowing like a light.  The bartender sidles up to me; skinny, hiply dressed, with a vest on and neatly trimmed facial hair.  He offers me a drink and says “It’s from the bartender.”  I look in the glass.  As a garnish, there is a razor almost the size of a credit card.  [I really can’t describe it, so I’ll try to draw a picture of it.]

|  \
|    \
|      \
|        \
|          \
\            \
\            \

I pull the razor out, tossing it on the table, and take my drink with me.  I haven’t tasted it, but I know it’s some whitish coconut base drink.  As I leave, I say “I hope this isn’t spiked…”

I’m in the bathroom; walls tealish, grungy, sort of a run of the mill personal bathroom.  There’s a sink, a single urinal, and one enclosed stall.  Not exactly sure what I’m doing, but I hear a knock on the door.  This is where shit gets weird.  The knocking gets louder, and I see the door start to burst open at the seams.  It’s going to unlock any minute.  I fumble with the lock a bit, loosening it up for its inevitable rupture as I gleefully rush into the stall and lock it.  Apparently, my goal this entire time was to play a trick on the person and have him come in to find nobody in the bathroom.  The adrenaline runs through my system, the sort you get when you’re being chased.

I hop on the toilet seat and out of the corner of my eye, over the walls of the stall, I can see the door breaking open with each resounding knock.  I command the door, “Unlock!” as I flush the toilet.  The swirling of the torrential aquamarine toilet water intensifies, and as I’m preparing to leap into the toilet, over the roaring of the water, I shout “INTO THE RABBIT HOLE!”

Maybe it was one of those you had to be there moments.


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